I am broken. It has taken me a lifetime to:

• Recognize,
• Accept,
• Begin to understand,
• Be comfortable in my brokenness.

It is a madman’s journey to list my maladies. Let me share the malady of severe anxiety and major depressive disorder. Why? I hope to help you. Perhaps you also are wrestling with some hidden struggle. May my sharing be a light for you. May you know you are not alone.

As for me, I have biological causes for my depression and anxiety. I have trauma that feeds into these struggles. I have been a catalyst of trauma in myself. And I have sin that feeds into these struggles. It is helpful to know and understand the roots that nurture your depression.

I fought this struggle in the shadows for a long time. I was managing it, keeping my mental illness at bay without anyone else’s knowledge, or so I thought. Looking back on it now, I can see how it had taken over my life and how much control I never really had. But as I share this story and talk about my struggles with mental illness, I am reminded that I am not alone in this fight. While there are certainly many of us who battle emotional and psychological pain and suffering, we can take comfort in the fact that God is always with us; no matter what challenges we face or dark times we go through, He is still by our side. Even when it seems like no one else is there for us, we have His unyielding presence to count on for strength and support. We can use His word to remind ourselves of His love and acceptance during the most trying times and cling to His promises so that we will never be forsaken.

When we look at Jesus, we lose the fear that keeps us from seeing that we need to help. Those who seek help, first see the need. Confession between you and the Father is where all of this begins. When we look to the Holy Spirit, we sense wholeness started. With the Father, our faith broadcasts future hope when God makes all things new.

For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. Romans 8:19-20 ESV

Where does Severe Depression originate?

Please remember that your mental illness is not a sin. It can be the result of sin. Indeed, it is the result of sin. It is impacted by our sins or those of another. Sin’s powerful effect has infiltrated our DNA. As a result, managing your mental health requires both spiritual guidance and medical attention as you battle this issue daily.

I have pursued the therapies, medication, and counseling that have aided me in many beneficial ways. It is worth investigating The brain is prone to misfiring, due to chemical imbalances that lead to an array of mental health issues. Biology can play a part in your struggle. Trauma causes delays. Brain mapping studies can reveal trauma from childhood. Your mental health struggle is exactly that – the struggle.

Faith is a necessary ingredient to have victory over your depression.

This is not to say that depression is free from sin. It is not. Depression is a result of sin first. Secondly, depression can be sinful. But it could also be that you just “feel abuzz” and have nothing to attach to that sensation. This is how I understand my anxiety. My anxiety is always there….abuzz. I am just now learning to differentiate between an awareness of the sensation from embracing it. Depression is hard work. Like working through molasses on a chilly day. Everything weighs more, takes more, is more – or so it seems. We must engage our struggles with an awareness that how we cope with these struggles plays a major role in the struggle itself.

How hard it is to battle the very lies my brain believes and turns against me. But i have victory for I have surrounded myself with transparency, truth and companionship. Firstly, with the Lord. The Holy Spirit guides me as I come to Him in faith.

Battling Clinical Depression – You are the Mountain You need to Conquer

I have asked others “are you struggling with depression?” The most common answer is “I hope not!” We can chase cultural influences on handling mental disorders, but ultimately it is an issue of pride. Pride decides what is out in the open. Pride puts on the presentation. Pride determines who gets to see your glory and who doesn’t. Pride never wants to admit to weakness.

As a Christian, this understanding fits perfectly within the Biblical Worldview. For we know that the entire world is broken. We know that every single person is broken. We are all broken. We aren’t broken the same, but we are all broken.

It is Beyond okay to be Broken – It’s Great!

Battling depression is a testimony that you are broken. My anxiety and depression are gifts. My depression drives me to God through His Word. In desperation, I reached out to God, who then called me to reach out to others. So I did. I have included others for personal encouragement. I have been blessed by the encouragement that is blossoming from this transparency. The knowledge of Matthew 5:3 has been driven home for me. It is a great gift.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3 ESV

Today, in the temporal, it is hard to see…but on the other side of the veil, I will find that anxiety driving me to God for dependence today will be a jewel in my crown. These chemical imbalances and the “stinking thinking” battles I engage in is a major theme in my life story.

Accepting That We Experience Depression is Part of Battling Depression

I started laying down my mental illness before the Lord. Consider these aspects of buried treasure.

• It is secret.
• It is hidden.
• It is valued.

How do I know? Because I hide it. When others come looking for it, I lie about it. My mind comes to it often, thus nurturing it in my mind. If that is a workable definition of hidden treasure then I once treasured my mental struggles.

But now I work to lay it down before the Lord. Laying it down means I can no longer coddle it in secret. I don’t treasure it. I don’t treasure the hurt and vulnerability in me. I know I don’t treasure it because I expose it, I illuminate it. Yes, it is messy. Yes, it is worth it. It can be hard to accept our mental illness. We feel like we are less than whole, or that we don’t measure up to God’s standards.

God Calls the Depressed. The Lord Heals the Broken.

“And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17 ESV

The Lord connects two things here for me. The sick (me) need healing because I am a sinner. My brokenness does have roots in sin. Sin is the hammer I use to break things. Then it is the hammer I use to try to glue things back together. That is not the heartbeat of God. Rather our Savior tells us,

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30. ESV

I beseech you. Embrace your brokenness so that you can begin to heal. The Son of Man loves us in our brokenness, and He wants to heal us and make us whole again. He can make us whole again. For those of us who love Him and are called by Him, He will make us whole again. Consider the power that God invests in us in the salvific process. Consider the might of the Holy Spirit. Time to declare war on depression. We can overcome ourselves.

The Holy Spirit Does the Work.

We are to relate to the Lord faithfully. Healing always starts relationally first with Him. We must come to our Lord in hope, in humble brokenness. My brokenness not only includes injuries from others but the love of sin for myself. Sin does not have your best interest at heart. Whose sin? Your sin. My sin. That mutinous nature in each of us wants to rise and create our brand of chaos.

To be truly broken requires that we openly accept our limitations and struggles. There was a time when I knew something was off…but I didn’t know what, so how could I tell another? I couldn’t even express my depression. Sometimes the description from another doesn’t translate into your own life. At least, this is my experience. I had to learn that I didn’t need to be able to explain the struggle to express the struggle.

It is OK to say something is off without knowing what, or why.

But this doesn’t mean we have no hope! True strength comes from asking God for help when things appear bleak. No one is immune to depression throughout life. Isolate yourself in your struggle is an example of how the way we cope influences the direction of our depression. Instead of suffering in silence, trust God with your burdens! Trust the Holy Spirit with your depression. You’ll be amazed at how He can work wonders for you.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV

Hope is Available for the Depressed

Are you like me? What I want is healing, understanding, and acceptance. What I want is for God to bring hope into the depression. Not a to-do list. This is my takeaway for you –

“Take your brokenness to our Lord and He will provide you the comfort and strength you need to survive on the daily. “

The Holy Spirit heals our brokenness through repentance. Repentance is the soil we are called to till. Jesus carries our burdens. His burden upon us is easy. His burden on us is to embrace him. Spend time with him. Read God’s Word, His Bible, and conversate with Him. Give Jesus your cares. Pour out your suffering to him.

The healing process begins when you start spending time with The Father. When it comes to brokenness, we must come to Him in humble submission. True brokenness means admitting that we can’t fix ourselves and that we have struggles that we can’t even verbalize. It means recognizing that we have stimuli that overwhelm us and that we don’t even know what the problem is, let alone how to explain depression to someone else. What is depression? What is anxiety? They’re just words on paper until we experience them. When we do, we may feel like being strong is ignoring them. But strength doesn’t come from hiding our depression. Strength comes from faith – acknowledging you are depressed and taking it to God. He is the only one who can truly heal us.

“Heal me,

O Lord,

and I shall be healed;

save me,

and I shall be saved,

for you are my praise.” – Jeremiah 17:14 ESV

“Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. The ESV text may not be quoted in any publication made available to the public by a Creative Commons license. The ESV may not be translated in whole or in part into any other language.”