Men, Pray for Your Wife. 

It is no secret that God commands us to seek Him through prayer and petition on behalf of our spouse. As husbands, it is essential for us to take up this mantle, as Ephesians 5:25 states that we are to “love [our] wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her.” We are called to intercede on behalf of our brides, asking the Lord to provide for them in their walk of faith. 

This article is oriented toward men, but it applies to all relationships. The Bible emphasizes the husband’s responsibility in this delightful duty towards his wife. God wants us to petition His throne on behalf of others. I am so excited about how this flow of Scripture motivates me in my prayer life.  

This breadcrumb trail begins in the lives of the three Patriarchs of Israel. It is a lesson in prayer and how it intersects with faith. My motivation in thinking about this is that I want to be a more faithful son to God. And a more devoted husband. Being both a loyal son and husband intersects my prayer for her to Him.  

I come to this conversation humbled and motivated. I know the past and the future. I am grabbing hold of that which I long to be. While I have not achieved it yet, I press forward. This devotion is a pep talk in the trenches.  

Abraham

First, we have the prayerless example of Abraham, who is faithless to Sarah by not interceding on her behalf.  

Genesis 11:29–30 

[29] And Abram and Nahor took wives.  
The name of Abram's wife was Sarai,  
and the name of Nahor's wife,  
Milcah,  
"the daughter of Haran the father of Milcah and Iscah."  
[30] Now Sarai was barren;  
she had no child.  
(ESV) 

Pause to recall the meaning of Abram and Sarai – “Honored Father” and “My Princess.” The story’s beginning includes this detail – they have no children. How old are they when the story begins? We do not know. Genesis 12:4 states Abraham’s age as seventy-five.  

The heckler in me wants to ask Abram and Sarai sarcastic questions. In the same way, people ask those blessed with a full quiver if they have figured “it” out yet. I want to be that kind of ignorant with these two heroes of faith.  

Consider between these verses and our next that Abram also mediates for Lot. After a marauding army captures Lot, Abraham acts valiantly. Taking with him his small army, Abraham shows he is willing to intercede for his surrogate son, Lot.  

Genesis 16:1–2 
 

[1] Now Sarai,  
Abram's wife,  
had borne him no children.  
She had a female Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar.  
[2] And Sarai said to Abram,  
"Behold now,  
the LORD has prevented me from bearing children.  
Go in to my servant;  
"it may be that I shall obtain children by her." 
And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.  
(ESV) 

How long has Sarai waited patiently for the Lord to fulfill His promise to Abram through her? Her faith had found its end. Why? We do not know. We know many years have passed now in her life. We know that she is getting old. Now she is at least halfway through her 70s. I grow weary from day to day. Sarai has grown tired.  

What does Abram do? Does he intercede on behalf of his wife? Does he go and petition on behalf of her before the Lord? No. He does not. Instead, he agrees to have sex with her maidservant. Again, I understand the attraction toward faithlessness in this context.  

Here is where the seed of my conviction sprouts. I do not think Abram even thought of praying as an option for Sarai. I speculate because this reality has taken so long to take root in my life. Notice what is not there. What is not there is a faithful husband interceding on behalf of his hurting wife before the LORD God.  

While this article highlights portions of Abraham’s story, the entire narrative read in one sitting brings out an aspect of this story. Constantly we find Abraham interceding on behalf of people, except for Sarah. Not being a woman, I have zero experience to draw upon to know her perspective. But I look at my wife and see a wondrously beautiful example of the struggle of faith for a woman. The more I desire to pray for her, the more God shows me how to pray for her.  

Is praying a struggle for you also?  

Genesis 16:15–16 

[15] And Hagar bore Abram a son,  
and Abram called the name of his son,  
whom Hagar bore,  
Ishmael.  
[16] Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to Abram. 
(ESV) 

You can tell Abraham is a patriotic ‘merican cuz he examples our astute myopia of individualism. Abraham has a son. As far as he is concerned, God delivered on His promise. But Sarah does not think the promise is fulfilled. For she knows the promise is for her too. Read Sarai speaking when she says, “Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.”  

Whose portion of the promise is Sarai trying to get through her slave Hagar? Her portion. She knows the promise is for her too. She longs to be the mother of this promised seed. 

Genesis 17:15-16 

[15] And God said to Abraham,  
"As for Sarai your wife,  
you shall not call her name Sarai,  
but Sarah shall be her name.  
[16] I will bless her,  
and moreover,  
I will give you a son by her.  
I will bless her,  
and she shall become nations;  
kings of peoples shall come from her." 
(ESV) 

After Ishmael is born, God tells Abraham that the promised heir to His promise to Abraham will not be Ishmael but Isaac. Not the child of the slave, but the heir was to be born free. Sarah is essential to the promise. Again, notice how God emphasizes her part in this portion of His promise. Reconsider Genesis 17:15-16 by looking at every line. This promise is Sarah’s inheritance too.  

Genesis 17:17–18 

[17] Then Abraham fell on his face  
and laughed  
and said to himself,  
“Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old?”
Shall Sarah,  
who is ninety years old,  
bear a child?”  
[18] And Abraham said to God,  
“Oh that Ishmael might live before you!”  

Abraham does not like God’s plan. Is he being spiteful toward Sarah? I do not think so. His red, white, and blue blood began to boil at the impractical aspect of God’s course of action. Consider Abraham’s practical argument.  

Chuckling to himself, Abraham replied,
“Lord, you do realize that I’m 99 right now. Doing the math of your promise, and I will be 100. That means Sarah will be 90 years old. I mean no disrespect, Lord. But we age differently now. I look twice as old as my father did at my age. I don’t mean to suggest you forgot that detail, but perhaps you are overlooking it a smidge.” Abraham demonstrated how small the gap was by holding his fingers barely apart.

“But see now. I have a son. Ishmael. He is my only son. It makes sense, God. Your promise is complete, and I have a child. Yes, Sarah will not have a child. That is incredibly sad, but it is not like I can open her womb for her. But think of what this will do to Ishmael’s emotional disposition! Bless him, Lord.”  

– creative interpretation; not really said; satire

Genesis 17:19 

"[19] God said,  
"No,  
but Sarah your wife shall bear you a son,  
and you shall call his name Isaac.  
I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his offspring after him." 
(ESV)

God thinks little of Abraham’s endeavor in conventional wisdom. He tosses that trash out in the walk of faith.  

Genesis 17:20 

"[20] As for Ishmael,  
I have heard you;  
behold,  
I have blessed him  
and will make him fruitful  
and multiply him greatly.  
He shall father twelve princes,  
and I will make him into a great nation. " 
(ESV)

Abraham successfully intercedes on behalf of Ishmael. He seeks God’s favor in Ishmael’s life. God gives it. Abraham does not intercede on behalf of Sarah or Isaac. But he does intercede on behalf of Sodom and Gomorrah when God tells him that He will destroy the valley and the cities in it in Genesis 18:22-32. 

Genesis 18:32 

[32] Then he [Abraham] said,  
"Oh let not the Lord be angry,  
and I will speak again but this once.  
Suppose ten are found there."  

He [God] answered,  
"For the sake of ten I will not destroy it." 
(ESV) 

In Genesis 20:7, we read God’s instruction to Abimelech, king of Gerar. Notice that God says Abraham is a prophet, and his prayer is effectual. If Abimelech wants to live, then Abraham needs to intercede.  

Genesis 20:7

[7] Now then, return the man's wife,  
for he is a prophet,  
so that he will pray for you,  
and you shall live.  
But if you do not return her,  
know that you shall surely die,  
you and all who are yours." 
(ESV) 

Genesis 20:17–18 follows Abraham’s intercession of Abimelech and his people. Notice what Abraham’s prayer accomplishes. The results accompanying his prayer are barren women now fertile and bearing children.  

Genesis 20:17-18

[17] Then Abraham prayed to God,  
and God healed Abimelech,  
and also healed his wife  
and female slaves so that they bore children.  
[18] For the LORD had closed all the wombs of the house of Abimelech 
because of Sarah, 
Abraham's wife.  
(ESV) 

God fulfills his promise to Abraham and Sarah despite Abraham’s faithlessness towards his wife. Even if the story ended in Genesis 21:1–3, it would be worth considering this aspect of the relationship between God, Abraham, and Sarah.  

Genesis 21:1-3

[1] The LORD visited Sarah as he had said,  
and the LORD did to Sarah as he had promised.  
[2] And Sarah conceived  
and bore Abraham a son in his old age  
at the time of which God had spoken to him.  
[3] Abraham called the name of his son who was born to him,  
whom Sarah bore him,  
Isaac. 
(ESV) 

God gives us pointers that keep this trail going throughout the Old Testament. But it is established by the connection between the three patriarchs.  

Isaac

Genesis 25:21 

"[21] And Isaac prayed to the LORD for his wife,  
because she was barren.  
And the LORD granted his prayer,  
and Rebekah his wife conceived." 
(ESV) 

It is the “apparent” texts that allow us to check out.

“There is a connection between Isaac’s prayer and Rebekah’s pregnancy.”

True. Does that mean no reflection is required? What are you going to do about now that you see? Are you going to say, “Good for Isaac, that ol’ chap? Someone get him a cigar!” 

Or can we pause for a moment and recognize our wives’ struggles? Not unlike us. Everyone struggles. I see a recipe for health with God in my relationship with my wife. Or vice versa. This recipe includes interceding on her behalf. I read this prayer of Isaac and want to slap my past self. We can get the meaning of Scripture without applying the lesson of Scripture all day, every day.  

Jacob

Genesis 29:31 

[31] When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. (ESV) 

So, the breadcrumbs continue this lesson. Leah bears Jacob’s first four boys. Rachel responds to God’s blessings in her sister’s life by crying at Jacob in Genesis 30:1–2 

Genesis 30:1–2

[1] When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children,  
she envied her sister.  
She said to Jacob,  
“Give me children,  
or I shall die!”  
[2] Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel,  
and he said,  
“Am I in the place of God,  
who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?”  
(ESV) 

Jacob’s answer is faithless. He knows the story of God’s promise to his grandfather and father. He knows God gave Isaac to Abraham and Sarah at an old age. He knows the story of how his dad interceded on behalf of his mother. Jacob knows God answers prayers. He does not even try.  

May God use this post to encourage you in your petition prayer life for others.  

Jesus helps me understand the world. I am Iz. My goal is to share my daily fight in the hopes of being an example. An example of what exactly? Of someone who is trying live victoriously in Jesus. I fail often. Just as often, the Holy Spirit provides comfort as Jesus advocates for me before God the Father’s throne. It is my constant reality. It is a liberating reality.

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