Our Gotcha Day: Celebrating Adoption and Belonging
“Gotcha Day” is a term many adoptive families use to celebrate the day their adoption became official, marking when a child legally joins their new family. It’s a day filled with joy, reflection, and, often, a deep sense of fulfillment, acknowledging both the journey and the legal bond that unites a family. Recently, we celebrated my son’s Gotcha Day, a milestone that signifies his official entry into our family and represents a deeper, more profound connection. This day is not merely about the legal formalities; it’s about celebrating the moment our hearts and lives became irrevocably intertwined.
But what exactly is a “Gotcha Day?” For us, and many, it marks the day our son was not just in our care but recognized by the world as ours, legally and forever. This distinction is crucial because it represents a definitive acknowledgment of belonging. From his first moments in the hospital, enveloped in our love, he was a part of our family. Yet, the Gotcha Day adds a layer of societal and legal recognition to our bond, proclaiming the unbreakable tie of our family unit to the world.
Understanding Gotcha Day goes beyond marking a date on the calendar. It acknowledges the emotional, spiritual, and legal journey that brings a family together. It’s a celebration of belonging, love transcending biology, and the profound joy that comes from the union of hearts and lives in a way that paperwork can only begin to represent.
Understanding Gotcha Day: More Than a Date
That eventful meeting underscored a deep-seated truth: he is undeniably one of us, woven into the fabric of our family. This fact is as clear to our friends and family as it is to us. Yet, there’s something profoundly special about the legal affirmation of this bond. It loudly proclaims to the world—he is ours, and we are his.
Navigating the legal landscape can often be a complex maze. However, the outcome is beautiful when navigated to achieve perfection in equity. It’s a process that can bind a family together in a way that is both tangible and ineffable. Thus, we celebrate his Gotcha Day with the same fervor and joy as his birthday, reinforcing his intrinsic value to our family and his irreplaceable presence in our lives. This celebration serves as a dual reminder: to him, of his cherished place in our hearts, and to us, the completeness and wholeness our family attains with him.
A New Beginning
I could wax lyrical about the palpable energy that permeates the air on such an occasion—the anticipation, joy, hope, and electric excitement for what the day symbolizes. The true gifts of Gotcha Day are not the material presents exchanged but the gift of each other’s presence.
Even before the legal closure of our “Gotcha Day,” there were many instances when we knew our son was part of our family. These are the memories made as a family—the hugs from joys and hurts, the milestones of life. It includes the day we realized he was a climber before a crawler, a dancer before a walker. Since then, it has included the struggles and victories that come with each unique person that G_d creates.
Have you experienced a moment that marked a profound sense of belonging or a new beginning? What was it like for you?
Gotcha Day’s Sweetness
But it is not as though Gotcha Day is sugary sweetness. It is not. This day carries a certain saltiness—a poignant reminder of the inherent brokenness and trauma that precede it. It serves as a stark testament to loss and hurt, echoing the existence of a familial bond that, for various reasons, could not be. It is a day that screams for healing and understanding, embodying our collective need for salvation.
For everyone adopted into God’s family, there is:
- A backdrop of brokenness and trauma.
- Lingering hurts that cry out for healing.
- A shadow of rejection, constant and reminding.
- An acceptance so profound it requires nothing of us to earn it.
- Legal assurances that fortify our place within the family.
We are mindful of this reality. Every year, when we celebrate our son’s joining our family, we also mourn the family that wasn’t. Our celebrations are not designed to diminish or ignore the loss our son has experienced. He has experienced the loss of family. Our son knows his biological parents cannot legally take care of him. He has siblings he does not get to grow up with. While he does get a whole new set of siblings due to our other children, none of this is meant to take away or deny the trauma he experiences annually. Every Gotcha Day anniversary is a reminder that his world is broken. Still, we are beyond thankful for his inclusion in our family.
Reflecting on your own life, can you identify moments of bittersweet transformation? How did these moments shape your understanding of love and belonging?
The Spiritual Dimensions of Adoption
Being grafted into God’s family transcends our earthly understanding, hinting at a reality far beyond what we can appreciate from our temporal viewpoint. Yet, even in this fractured world, we bask in the healing balm for wounds inflicted by others, revel in the restoration of our failings born from our inherent brokenness, and luxuriate in the acceptance and belonging that envelop us. We are shielded by the legal markings of the Holy Spirit—a seal signifying our unbreakable bond with our Father due to the work of the Messiah, Jesus.
Let us pause here to celebrate. If you are a child of God, you have a Gotcha Day—a day that mirrors the transformative stories of all believers. You were always meant to be a part of God’s family, a divine plan laid out before the world’s foundation, orchestrated through Jesus’s sacrificial love on the cross.
Thus, G_d’s sending His Son for us is as the nurturing touch of a parent for his newborn child when he first meets him at birth. The Father cares for us.
As my life has progressed, the more I appreciate that G_d holds onto me as a good, loving Father—not so much that I’m holding onto Him, but that He holds onto me. His secure, loving choice of me in a legal setting assures me the permanence of my place in His family. It bolsters a life full of struggle, weakness, and pain.
How do you perceive your spiritual journey? Do you see yourself as being adopted into a larger family or community? What does that mean to you?
The Profound Blessing of Predestination
He predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ into Him,Ephesians 1:5
according to the delight of His will,
Predestination” is a concept that often stirs unease, prompting debates over the interplay between divine will and human agency. Yet, dwelling on the contentious aspects of this term detracts from its profound blessing. Before the dawn of creation, God chose us to be members of His family—and in faith, we declare this belonging through Jesus as Lord and His atoning work for our sins. To grasp the full magnitude of this predestined adoption, we must venture into the realm of God’s eternal presence, where He, in His infinite knowledge and love, eagerly knew and awaited to welcome you into His fold.
What imbues this adoption with its profound sweetness is God’s sheer delight in choosing us—a delight that predates our existence. The phrase “according to the delight of His will” in Ephesians 1:5 highlights the depth of joy God derives from our inclusion in His family. This joy is not contingent on our actions but reflects His boundless love and grace.
That phrase at the end of Ephesians 1:5, “according to the delight of His will,” makes much of the joy G_d gets in having us as part of His family. An awkward but technically correct way to translate this phrase would be that it was “according to the will of His will.” Or “to the delight of His desire.” Or “to the good pleasure of His wishes.” No matter how you translate Ephesians 1:5, what you should conclude is that to adopt you into G_d’s family is of supreme joy to Him.
G_d Chose Us
Indeed, He chose us—rebels at heart—and it pleases Him immensely to do so. To be wanted and belong is among the deepest desires of the human heart. Dare I declare that is one of the deepest longings in every person? I do. I declare it. You long deeply to know that you belong and are wanted. To unequivocally know that you are accepted and cherished is a gift of inestimable value.
Yet, there is a distinct difference between feeling like you belong to a family and being legally affirmed as part of it. Consider what it means when G_d determines to do a thing. Nothing can thwart Him. His will, His decree stand. The Bible makes much of G_d’s determination to choose and include me in His family. My confidence in my place in His family is not based on my meritorious activities but on my Father’s determining power.
Have you ever felt chosen or predestined for a specific purpose or place within a community? How does this influence your sense of identity and worth?”
The Profound Blessing of Being Foreknown
Because those whom He knew intimately beforehand,
He also determined in advance to be reshaped into the likeness of His Son,
so that He might be the firstborn among many brothers.
- Romans 8:29
Ephesians 1:5 and Romans 8:29 create a one-two punch against which there is no defense. Predestinations emphasize G_d’s willful determination in whom He adopts. His divine foreknowledge tells us He knew what He was getting into when He chose us firebrands. Together, these attributes of G_d tell us that we belong to G_d with a purpose—to give Him glory by molding us into the likeness of Jesus. From rags to riches, He adopts and molds us until we look like Jesus. What a sweet gift.
G_d’s foreknowledge with His predestining you into adoption means this: G_d intimately knew you in His mind. There, He, who is the refuge of all that is good, beautiful, and true, said, “That one there will be Mine when I create. Jesus, Your work on the cross will redeem that one into our family. Spirit, You will be sealing this one here for the day of redemption, for I take great pleasure in loving her.”
Knowing my son is firmly ensconced in our family brings peace to my heart that words can scarcely convey. Understanding that his presence makes our family whole fills our lives with completeness. Recognizing that God chose us before the world was even formed imbues my soul with hope so profound that it brings tears of joy to my eyes.
The sweetness of being part of God’s family is not superficial; it is the deep, healing sweetness of belonging and redemption—a balm for the soul of those who have felt the sting of brokenness and rebellion. It is a promise of wholeness for those who have felt fragmented by life’s trials. The ministry of reconciliation is a ministry of adoption. Didn’t you know?
The Sweetness of Knowing
The sweetness of knowing we each have a Gotcha Day is that it encourages us to embrace the reality of our place in G_d’s family. It enables us to prepare for the coming day when Jesus returns and fully receives us into G_d’s family.
There is another aspect to the foreknowledge of G_d. We all know intimacy reveals any ugliness the other may have. You can be sure G_d knows your ugliness. Your sin. Your brokenness by your hand. His eternal love for us is this: He heals us, makes us better, makes us whole, and makes us like Jesus. He binds our hearts to Him. We long for Him. We know what we’ve always wanted to know – true peace in the arms of our everlasting Father, who knows us and loves us. What an honor.
Considering that someone could know everything about you and still choose you, how does this concept affect your understanding of unconditional love?
Legal Affirmation of Belonging
For you have not received a spirit of slavery again into fear,
but you have received the Spirit of adoption,
in whom we cry,
“Abba, Father!”
- Romans 8:15
Now, consider the sweetness of being legally declared part of G_d’s family.
This is not the cloying, sugary sweetness of hallmark movies. Rather, it is the sweetness that comes with healing and completeness. Because, as with every adoption, trauma is part of the story. Brokenness begs for healing. Hurting turns to wholeness. It is a sweetness more akin to coming home from the hospital after fighting cancer for upteen months to be free finally! What kind of sweetness is it to walk through your haven’s door, knowing that you no longer must beckon to the sterilized hall of medicinal care? No one would call that sickly sweet.
Our legal adoption of our son occurred in the early days of the COVID-19 Shutdowns. Along with our judge, lawyer, witnesses, and security guards, we were the only ones in the courtroom. What a poignant moment to hold my son in my arms as we took our legal oaths, claiming to be the parents to him that we already had been. One of my favorite affectionate terms for my son is “my son.” And I mean it in every sense of the word. He is as much my son as every person who has faith is a son of Abraham.
How important is legal or formal recognition in your understanding of belonging? Can you recall a time when such recognition deeply impacted you?
Gotcha Day: A Celebration of Healing and Hope
Such is a Gotcha Day! It is sweet for all the right reasons. Here is the biggest: a Gotcha Day promises to belong and heal. It provides hope for the weight of tomorrow. A Gotcha Day means you have a refuge. Having a Gotcha Day means there are those who pine for you.
My Gotcha Day was April 8, 1983. My wife doesn’t know the date when she was legally claimed. Nonetheless, she was. Do you have a Gotcha Day? If you love G_d or rather are loved by G_d, you have a Gotcha Day, too. Gotcha Days provide us with hope on this side of eternity. But there will be a day when that hope is no longer part of our story, for our full consummation into the family of G_d will be complete.
For the eager expectation of creation waits for the unveiling of the sons of G_d.
For the creation was subjected to futility,
not willingly,
but on account of he who subjected it,
in hope,
So that the creation will be liberated from the slavery of corruption,
into the freedom of the glory of the children of G_d.
- Romans 8:19-21
Being a parent to an adopted child is hard. He has struggles and trauma. We have struggles and trauma. These dynamics make parenting an adopted child a unique endeavor. It gives me an appreciation for the tasks G_d has chosen by parenting me. I am thankful for my adopted son because he helps me appreciate the reality of my standing before my loving Father as an adopted son.
What does ‘healing’ look like in your life? How do you celebrate moments that signify healing and hope?
Jesus helps me understand the world. I am Iz. My goal is to share my daily fight in the hopes of being an example. An example of what exactly? Of someone who is trying live victoriously in Jesus. I fail often. Just as often, the Holy Spirit provides comfort as Jesus advocates for me before God the Father’s throne. It is my constant reality. It is a liberating reality.
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