Fighting Jealousy & Bitterness: Finding Freedom Through a Broken Toilet.

Joshua 7:1

"[1] But the people of Israel broke faith in regard to the devoted things, 
for Achan the son of Carmi, 
son of Zabdi, 
son of Zerah, 
of the tribe of Judah, 
took some of the devoted things. 
And the anger of the LORD burned against the people of Israel." 
(ESV)

Every Sunday, my family tries to set aside time to honor God. I am passionate about deepening my relationship with Him and being revived in His presence daily. Yet the connection we seek on our weekly sabbath is unlike the other days of the week; it is a unique opportunity to rest in God, commune together, and bask in His renewal.

Notice I said, “tries.” Sometimes we are faithless. Sometimes God has different plans for us. Sometimes those two things (our faithlessness & God’s plans) intersect. Yesterday’s Sabbath was that intersection for me. Our toilet was blessed with a foreign object (e.g., a toothbrush). In a cooperative discussion, I was told by the women of the house that we needed to perform intraoperative retrieval to excise the blockage.

My frustration grew as a litany of things went wrong. The toilet flange failed to secure the bolts, so we cut them off. My cutting wheel was missing (I am notorious for misplacing everything). One family member drove to the DIY center as I fumed on the couch. By the time we had finished, we had taken the entire toilet apart. Our intraoperative retrieval was still of naught! We flipped the toilet over and tried with hangers, prayer, cursing, and stomping. What worked in the end? Giving up and walking away. When we came back, the toothbrush was loose.

If you wonder if I enjoy placing my hands and face where people poop, the answer is no. I do not. I find it disgusting. And this is a different kind of intimacy with a toilet than the regular cleaning. Yuck! I am tempted to shout out to those who helped, but who wants to be associated with digging in the trap and pipes attached to the poop chute?

Somewhere along the way, as I complained to God about this endeavor and how it was keeping me from Him, he showed me that I was wrong. It was something else keeping me from Him yesterday. He showed me I was treasuring my Sunday Sins. No – not keeping the Sabbath. That is no sin. I have specific struggles and sins that manifest primarily with the local body of Christ.

One of the big ones is jealousy and its fruit of bitterness. I hate it, and yet I still feed it at times. Every Sunday is a battle if I am trying. But there are Sundays when I wake up and embrace my idols from the get-go. I do not even try. I find security in bitterness. It gives me oughtness so I can be justified in being bitter. That is the harvest I give to my Idol Jealousy.

Can I pause and express how grateful I am that Jesus is perfect? Because of Jesus and his redemption of me through his perfection, days like yesterday do not ruin my relationship with God. God instructing me through a broken toilet was most beneficial as God brought me a living example of my behavior. Even more – at the end of the tabulations, poop means nothing. My response of disgust towards poop is but vanity. But my devotion toward jealousy matters.

Embracing my Sunday Sins is robbing me of the renewal I seek in God. It denies the local body of Christ a more authentic and intimate relationship with God and each other in a corporate setting. I am currently trying to translate that last sentence from head to life through the faithful act of obedience while attending regular worship with our local congregation.

To bring the lesson fully home, my time with the Lord this morning began with Joshua. In Joshua 7:1, we find this alarming verse.

“[1] But the people of Israel broke faith in regard to the devoted things, for Achan the son of Carmi, son of Zabdi, son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, took some of the devoted things. And the anger of the LORD burned against the people of Israel.” (ESV)

What are the “devoted things.” חֵרֶם or cherem? Why are they deserving of death? Turning to the lexical meaning, there is a range of meanings, as is to be expected. The range of meaning includes things that are devoted to the Lord (Leviticus 27:21), His priests (Numbers 18:14), or destruction (Deuteronomy 7:26) in the Pentateuch. The idea includes these commonalities:

• Devoted things are not meant for personal or private use.
• Devoted things are intended for the benefit of the community or none.
• Devoted things in a positive light are committed to the benefit of the whole congregation in its worship of God.
• Devoted things in a negative light are detrimental to the entire community in its worship of God.

Today, I am thankful for a broken toilet. It reminded me to stand in the freedom of the Lord and by focusing on the Lord instead of reminiscing on my idol.

Jesus helps me understand the world. I am Iz. My goal is to share my daily fight in the hopes of being an example. An example of what exactly? Of someone who is trying live victoriously in Jesus. I fail often. Just as often, the Holy Spirit provides comfort as Jesus advocates for me before God the Father’s throne. It is my constant reality. It is a liberating reality.

My Copyright Policy:

All content on this website, including text, images, and videos, is protected by copyright laws. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Israel Shaw and/or ID Shaw, Inc is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided full and clear credit is given to Israel Shaw and jerusalemshaw.com with appropriate and specific directions to the original content.

Bible Translation:

All Bible translations are mine unless otherwise noted. My copyright policy extends to my translation work. Any use of bible translations for a site that generates revenue is denied without express and written permission from Israel Shaw and/or ID Shaw, Inc.

ESV Copyright Disclaimer:

Posts prior to 2024 use the ESV Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. The ESV text may not be quoted in any publication made available to the public by a Creative Commons license. The ESV may not be translated into any other language.

Users may not copy or download more than 500 verses of the ESV Bible or more than one half of any book of the ESV Bible.